{"id":4392,"date":"2023-04-19T04:35:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-19T04:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/?p=4392"},"modified":"2023-07-19T13:26:44","modified_gmt":"2023-07-19T13:26:44","slug":"does-mindfulness-help-child-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/does-mindfulness-help-child-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"Does mindfulness help child anxiety?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4392\" class=\"elementor elementor-4392\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-2863e2b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"2863e2b\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-28ccf6e exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"28ccf6e\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bb8929a exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"bb8929a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe title=\"Embed Player\" data-src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/26578440\/height\/192\/theme\/modern\/size\/large\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/495867\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\" height=\"192\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" webkitallowfullscreen=\"true\" mozallowfullscreen=\"true\" oallowfullscreen=\"true\" msallowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border: medium;\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" data-load-mode=\"1\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5ed0d6fa elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"5ed0d6fa\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-754801c7 exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"754801c7\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4ea9dc9a exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4ea9dc9a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Mindfulness is a big buzz word these days especially around anxiety and I appreciate the opportunity to talk about it here so thank you to the listener who sent this question my way. They asked not only &#8220;<strong>does mindfulness help child anxiety<\/strong>&#8221; they also asked, &#8220;And if so, how?&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>All right, first let\u2019s define mindfulness and for this I\u2019m going to head to the Oxford Language dictionary and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com\/us\/definition\/english\/mindfulness\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"share the second definition (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow external\" class=\"ek-link\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">share the second definition<\/a>, which describes mindfulness as \u201ca mental state achieved by focusing one\u2019s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one\u2019s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d say that\u2019s pretty dang accurate so that\u2019s the definition we\u2019re going to go ahead and use for this episode.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Now let\u2019s go back to the question. Does that help child anxiety? Does achieving a mental state by focusing one\u2019s awareness not etheh present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one\u2019s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations\u201d help child anxiety?<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Well, that depends on how you\u2019re going to define help.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Lots of people when they first begin working on child anxiety are focusing on stopping the anxiety. They call me and say, \u201cMy child is anxious and I\u2019d like to help them learn how not to be anxious.\u201d Or they say, \u201cI want them to learn how to cope\u201d but as we dig into their situation it\u2019s clear that the proof of coping will be the eradication of anxiety.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I get that. That\u2019s the way I thought about anxiety, too, before I had my clinical training. That\u2019s why we say things to our kids like, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to be nervous\u201d or \u201cthere\u2019s nothing to be afraid of.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>We see tears or tantrums or meltdowns and we think, \u201cOh gosh, this is failing. My child is feeling their anxiety and something has to change.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Mindfulness doesn\u2019t mean not feeling. It\u2019s right there in the definition. It means feeling and being aware of the feeling. It means noticing thoughts. It means noticing that your stomach hurts with worry. It means noticing that and accepting that, not necessarily fighting it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>When I say that, I\u2019m curious. What\u2019s your reaction? When I say, your child is just going to have to sit with that tummy ache. Or just sit with that feeling of wanting to run away. Or just sit with their anger that you\u2019re not helping them. I imagine you\u2019re feeling a lot of yuck. Noticing that yuck, noticing that perhaps you feel resistance to allowing your child to suffer, that\u2019s mindfulness.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I think paying attention to the similarities of our experience with our child\u2019s experience is incredibly helpful when it comes to child anxiety. So when I talk about mindfulness and child anxiety, first I want the parents to explore their anxiety. I want them to work on their own mindfulness skills because through that they will be able to help their child.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s say our child is anxious about a new babysitter. You have plans to go out to dinner with your partner and you know you\u2019ll be back kinda late. There\u2019s a new baby sitter, you know them and you trust them \u2014 let\u2019s say they\u2019re your neighbor\u2019s niece who is getting her degree in early childhood education. You trust your neighbor, you\u2019ve talked to this young woman on the phone and you really like her, but you haven\u2019t met her yet and neither has your child. You also know your child doesn\u2019t like anyone else around at bedtime so you\u2019re nervous.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You want to go out, you have special tickets to a big thing, a big show that you\u2019ve been looking forward to. You\u2019re excited to put on grown up clothes and eat at a grown up restaurant and see this show but you\u2019re nervous.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re nervous that your child won\u2019t talk to the babysitter. You\u2019re nervous that they\u2019ll meltdown when you try to leave. You\u2019re nervous that the babysitter won\u2019t be able to build any kind of rapport. You\u2019re nervous that your child will be constantly texting you during dinner and during the show and if you turn your phone off or on airplane mode during the performance that you\u2019ll miss an emergency call.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>So you\u2019re just kind of a mess about it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Your mess about it mirrors your child\u2019s mess about it. Your worry about your child\u2019s worry is a helpful lens into what\u2019s happening for your child.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>If you can take care of your worry, you will be helping your child to find a way out of their worry.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s bring mindfulness into it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Mindfulness doesn\u2019t mean that you ignore your worry or distract yourself away from it. It means you sit and you notice it. You don\u2019t do anything else. You don\u2019t try to talk yourself out of it or try to manage it, you just notice it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Noticing helps you step outside of yourself. You can try narrating what you observe, doing this literally can really help.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>That might sound like saying out loud to yourself, \u201cWow, when I think about walking out the door, I can feel my breath get more shallow. I think my heart rate goes up. I catch myself trying to talk myself out of going or into going. I feel like my mind races.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You could journal your way through it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You could talk it out with someone who is willing to listen and not try to solve things.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>In mindfulness, you allow yourself to be in two places at once. You have the experience and you NOTICE you\u2019re having the experience.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You might feel yourself drawn to look back \u2014 like at the last time you tried to go out. Or you might feel yourself drawn to look forward \u2014 projecting into how the night might go. And when you notice that, you can bring yourself back.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You can say, \u201cOk, I\u2019m having all of these feelings. I notice all of these sensations in my body AND I notice the feeling of the sofa cushion I\u2019m sitting on, the rough fabric of my couch. I notice that I can hear the wind chimes outside or the traffic. I am aware that the light in this room dims when the sun goes behind a cloud.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>That brings us back to the present. We notice the pull away, and we notice that things here that bring us back.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>So how does mindfulness help? It helps by letting us sit with the feelings until they pass.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>There are different ways to be mindful. IT doesn\u2019t have to be sitting quietly; it can be walking and tuning into the walking.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>You know how some people think more clearly when they listen to background music? It\u2019s the same kind of thing. You\u2019re not doing mindfulness wrong if you do it differently than someone else. The goal is to be with feelings.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Movement can help us be in two places at once. It can help us look at our experience more objectively.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>For some kids, especially anxious kids, it might be easier to be with a feeling when they\u2019re moving. I used movement a lot in my clinical work with children. Asking them to sit with their feeling might be overwhelming but we could pace around my playroom or play toss or they could even cartwheel and then come back to whatever they were feeling.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Again, there\u2019s no wrong way to learn how to engage with our feelings. Remember anxiety is about avoidance and the avoidance is focused on helping us NOT feel uncomfortable. But we do need to feel uncomfortable to overcome our anxiety and mindfulness is a tool to do this. It gives us the opportunity to step into being anxious, being uncomfortable and not running from those anxious, uncomfortable feelings. It\u2019s fine to dip in and dip out. It\u2019s fine to build up our tolerance a little bit at a time. Mindfulness does not have goal posts. It\u2019s a practice, which means we practice it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>By the way, if you\u2019d like some help in bringing mindfulness to your day to day, you can head to my site and take the <a href=\"http:\/\/Child Anxiety Support.com\/quiz\" class=\"ek-link\" data-wpel-link=\"external\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow external noopener noreferrer\">Parenting Pitfalls<\/a> quiz. AT the end you\u2019ll have the opportunity to sign up for my free 7-day Get Yourself Grounded email course. Just go to <a href=\"http:\/\/Child Anxiety Support.com\/quiz\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Child Anxiety Support.com\/quiz (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow external\" class=\"ek-link\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Child Anxiety Support.com\/quiz<\/a><\/p><p><br><\/p><p><br><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week we discuss what mindfulness is, how it works, how it helps child anxiety, and how to do it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4393,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[59,19,21,17,26],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/podcast-42.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdNXfO-18Q","publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2024-05-08 11:53:56","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4392"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4392"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4392\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}