{"id":4248,"date":"2023-03-22T01:06:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-22T01:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/?p=4248"},"modified":"2023-07-19T13:26:54","modified_gmt":"2023-07-19T13:26:54","slug":"does-social-media-cause-teen-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/childanxietysupport.com\/does-social-media-cause-teen-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"Does social media cause teen anxiety?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4248\" class=\"elementor elementor-4248\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-056b275 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"056b275\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2fa8691 exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"2fa8691\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d64a1a3 exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"d64a1a3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<iframe title=\"Embed Player\" style=\"border: none;\" data-src=\"https:\/\/play.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/26280243\/height\/192\/theme\/modern\/size\/large\/thumbnail\/yes\/custom-color\/495867\/time-start\/00:00:00\/playlist-height\/200\/direction\/backward\" height=\"192\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" webkitallowfullscreen=\"true\" mozallowfullscreen=\"true\" oallowfullscreen=\"true\" msallowfullscreen=\"true\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" data-load-mode=\"1\"><\/iframe>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section data-exad-particle-enable=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-184cd70 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default exad-parallax-effect-no exad-background-color-change-no exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"184cd70\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-34e27153 exad-glass-effect-no exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no\" data-id=\"34e27153\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-49ec90aa exad-sticky-section-no exwb-magnet-no exad-glass-effect-no elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"49ec90aa\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>The answer to this one is easy. Yes! Yes, social media can cause teen anxiety and adult anxiety, too, which I\u2019m sure you already know personally. Ok I\u2019ve answered that question but how helpful is my answer? Not very so let\u2019s talk instead about what you, as a parent, are supposed to do about it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019d be easy to say, \u201cJust don\u2019t let your child have social media\u201d but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s entirely realistic and I don\u2019t think it gives your child the tools they\u2019ll need to exist in a world where social media is a thing. Even if we choose to opt out of social media, depending on what your child ends up doing, they may need to have it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>An example of this would be professional networking. They might need to have LinkedIn. And socializing. I know that for my generation, there is an expectation that you\u2019ll be on Facebook and that\u2019s where some of my social groups do all of their event planning. If you\u2019re not on FB, you\u2019re going to miss the potluck invite.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>And I\u2019m sure there are ways social media will continue to embed itself in our lives that I can\u2019t even imagine because I\u2019m as, the kids say, an old and as an old my imagination is limited.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Also I can tell you now, as a therapist who has works with lots of teens, many of them who are not allowed to have social media have it anyway. They may download it to their phones and delete it so that they can have it sometimes but get rid of it before you catch them. They may create accounts on friends\u2019 phones (I\u2019ve known a lot of teens who do this) or they may find ways to access accounts on their Chromebooks or laptops. Which is to say, very often taking a zero tolerance policy is just going to push your teen to be secretive when what they\u2019re really going to need is your help and guidance.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Besides even if your child doesn\u2019t have social media, absolutely 100% agrees with you about it and it\u2019s accessing it behind your back, the same isn\u2019t true of their friends. According to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.commonsensemedia.org\/sites\/default\/files\/research\/report\/common-sense-parent-census_whitepaper_new-for-web.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Common Sense Census (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow external\" class=\"ek-link\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Common Sense Census<\/a> put out by Northwestern University\u2019s Center on Media and Human Development in 2016 (I will link to this PDF report in the show notes) 80% of teens have their own social media account and 23% of tweens \u2014 that\u2019s kids 8 to 12 \u2014 have one. I\u2019d be curious how those numbers changed over covid because I bet they went up. I know a whole bunch of little kids I know got that Facebook kid messenger during lockdown. Also this doesn\u2019t take into account the risk of TikTok.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This means your child may not have accounts but is likely to see things on friends\u2019 phones or tablets.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This is is all to say that instead of doing a hard core, \u201cNo social media for you!\u201d And thinking that\u2019s solved our problems, we need to recognize that social media is a part of our kids\u2019 lives whether we like it or not and help them build literacy around it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This is what we know, social media can be fun, it can be educational and it can support relationships but it can also be harmful. It\u2019s meant to be addictive. TikTok for example, is well known for serving its viewers exactly what they want to see when they want to see it. The algorithm is set up to keep you on there; it\u2019s notoriously sticky that way. There are some studies that show the more attached we are to our screens, the more trouble we have being mindful. That is being present in the moment. When we struggle with even short experiences of boredom \u2014 for example, if we struggle to wait in line or wait for the kettle to boil without looking at our phones \u2014 we are training our brains to need constant new stimulation.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>To tie this back to anxiety, anxiety requires being able to sit with discomfort. Boredom is a form of discomfort. If we\u2019re always avoiding boredom, then we\u2019re not practicing that distress tolerance.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Kids need to know this and need to know how it works. But we can\u2019t expect them to make great decisions about that. Heck, we struggle to make good decisions and our brains are fully developed. So we need to educate them but we also need to do things to protect them.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>That can mean learning how to use the parental controls on our phones or on our home networks. It can mean blocking certain sites or social media. It can mean setting up screen limits. And these things take ongoing attention because our phone set ups change, because our kids get older and need different access, and also because our teens tend to be more tech savvy than we are. I know lots of teens who make it a sport to figure out how to undo their family or school internet limits and they\u2019re awfully good at going on Reddit to figure out work arounds. Which is again, why we can\u2019t just count on external controls. They are tools but we do need to keep talking.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Because we want to grow children who have the skills to navigate the realities of social media, we should be talking to them about how it makes them feel. They need to notice when going on Instagram brings up their fear of missing out or worries of not being included. They need to understand how filters work and how people curate their lives and how knowing that doesn\u2019t always help us feel better looking at other people\u2019s projected perfection.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>We need to teach them practical things like how to block certain hashtags, how to handle it when they inevitably see something upsetting. We need to talk to them about ambivalence, which is when we know that looking at some accounts is. Upsetting and yet we want to look at them anyway. I\u2019ve talked to so many kids who feel guilty for wanting to look at social media that they know is not good for them, particularly around disordered eating, for example. That\u2019s a particular danger of social media.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>One of the other concerns for children and teens who are ons social media a lot is that they tend to be driven by emotional-focused coping, which is, \u201cI need to feel better\u201d instead of problem-solving focused coping, which is, \u201cI need to address the problem that\u2019s causing me trouble.\u201d A simplification of this, would be someone who is worried about an exam and goes on TikTok to forget about it versus someone who is worried about an exam so makes time to study.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This is a special concern for our anxious kids. Kids who are anxious are already trying to manage their anxious feelings by avoiding the things that make them anxious.Social media can exacerbate this tendency.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>And social media encourages this by prioritizing the accounts of influencers who tell us that if we follow their lead that we will feel better.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>This is why your children need you to be involved. I know it\u2019s exhausting. Please remember there is not a one right way to handle this. We need to hold social media loosely. We need to stay on top of what our kids are using, keep the conversation open, do our research about what is good about the accounts and what is not. We need to educate our children to be good media consumers. We need to share with them what the research says and not condemn them for quote \u201cgiving in\u201d to social media\u2019s siren call.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>It is not immoral to like social media but lots of kids \u2014 like lots of adults \u2014 feel guilty about it. That\u2019s not helpful. It\u2019s fine to like social media but we need to remember that it belongs to us and we do not belong to it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>We should talk to them about not using their phones in the evening or at night but we might also need to help them with this by not allowing them to have their phones in their room or turning them off after a certain time and using screen time limits.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I think for some children, especially kids who are interested in social justice, explaining how social media makes money off our free labor whether that\u2019s making media or viewing it, might help them to get annoyed enough to limit their viewing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>I mean it\u2019s an ongoing conversation.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Back to those kids using TikTok to avoid their feelings, we can also do our part by continuing to challenge the Parenting Pitfalls and helping our teens connect what they learn in those contexts \u2014 whether that\u2019s pulling back on reassurance or not helping them to avoid \u2014 so that they can figure out how to apply that in other areas of their lives, including social media.<\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p><!-- wp:paragraph --><\/p>\n<p>Well that\u2019s a lot. That\u2019s a big topic and impossible to do justice in such a short podcast but I do hope that you\u2019ll go check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.commonsensemedia.org\/sites\/default\/files\/research\/report\/common-sense-parent-census_whitepaper_new-for-web.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" aria-label=\"Commonsense Media (opens in a new tab)\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow external\" class=\"ek-link\" data-wpel-link=\"external\">Commonsense Media<\/a> report because that also shares information about managing social media and our kids and I think you\u2019ll find it helpful.<\/p><p><br><\/p><p><br><\/p><p><br><\/p>\n<p><!-- \/wp:paragraph --><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The short answer to does social media cause teen anxiety is YES so I use this episode to talk about what parents can &#8212; and should &#8212; do about it.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4249,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center 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